Swine flu. Run for my life!
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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