Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize