literally had 100 drinks last night.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
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