I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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