seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
