Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
