I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
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the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
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you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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