And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
