I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize