At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
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