didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
What happened to fro yo and sex?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
