i think my mom watched the whole time
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I looked at my own cervix.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
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we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
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I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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