i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize