I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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