I accidentally had phone sex last night
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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