laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
