I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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