where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
