i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
