I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
