I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
