im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
