he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
where are my eyebrows?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
