Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
