I swear she didn't look like that last week.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Randomize
