he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
