So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
