I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
