no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I have fence marks all over my body
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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