Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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