Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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