He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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