so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
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