so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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