I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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