Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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