I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Couch. On fire.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
