margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
