I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
