ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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