i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
