everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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