Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
