We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
