I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
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