The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
