another moral hangover. fuck.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
