Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
