Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
