dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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