you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
