CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
