somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
