i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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