A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
