i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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