cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
