The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
