started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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