Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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