Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
