White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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